Thursday, November 19, 2009

the best inventions not yet invented or have they been invented already but i just don't know about them?

I started this post in 2009 but forgot about it. Anyway, these are some inventions I've thought of so far.

1. anti-salt. Soup too salty? No problem, anti-salt! Worried about the sodium? Uh I don't think anti-salt can actually lower the sodium content, sorry.

2. anti-pepper. just about as good as anti-salt.

3. towel with designated crotch area. How could this not exist already? Every towel manufacturer should by law have one 8 inch by 8 inch portion of their towel colored differently so that you can always tell that's the part you used to wipe you crotch and butthole. Am i right??? I'm always afraid I'm drying my scalp with the dirtiest part of my towel.

4. Sunglasses with LED shades. The LED only activates over really bright spots, like glare off other cars, the sun, etc... It's like polarized sunglasses times a bazillion.

5. Pedestrian Car signal. You know how sometimes you'll be on the road at 35 or 40 mph and you come to a pedestrian crossing so you'll come to a stop when someone's crossing. But the car behind you probably can't see the pedestrian if the pedestrian is right in front of your car while making way across the street. So what does the driver behind you do? He get's pissed off thinking "Why the hell is this damn car in front slowing down?" and then just quick lane change and pass you up on the left. Problem is, the driver could get pretty damn close to accidentally hitting the crossing pedestrian. Does this ever happen to you? Cause I've been in this situation lots of times as both the driver in the front car and the back car, and I can't help but think of how close to an accident it is. If you're the car in the front, how do you let the cars behind you know that someone is crossing? Right turn signal? Emergency flashing lights? Rear-windshield wiper on?? That's why cars should have a specific light that flashes "PEDESTRIAN IS CROSSING THE STREET, DO NOT PASS" like school buses do.

This iPhone feature takes I AM T-PAIN to a whole new level. It auto-tunes your voice to make it sound like youve been smoking crack or some shit for 30 years.


  1. Hey Josh! So you had that towel discussion with us awhile ago. And somehow we decided you needed a little mermaid towel with a flounder on it the right size. Anyways, I found it for you. It is in my apartment brand new. Yeah, so remind me next time I see you.

  2. Why don't you just have two different towels?